Cross My Heart
by Yugure
Summary: A tragic event from Zelgadis's past comes back to haunt him. Based on an episode in Slayers TRY.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Cross My Heart

**Author**: Yugure

**Rating**: PG-13

**Disclaimer**: Slayers doesn't belong to me, but the idea for this story does.

**Introduction**: The basis for this story lies in one of the Slayers TRY episodes. I don't recall the name of it, but it is the episode where Lina and co. have to rebuild the dragon shrine . In one brief scene, Zelgadis is carving a figure out of stone. The figure is a young woman with long hair holding a vase. The young woman is not any of the females we've met previously in the series, or even will later meet, although I still believe the carving bears a resemblance closest to Lina. :) This story is my idea on who that young lady is, and what her relationship to Zelgadis is. Chapter one takes place after TRY and the gang is still together. This is not a self-insert story, although I can't blame you for thinking it is.

**Chapter 1**

The sound of jovial laughter and tankards clanking together soothed Lina's jangled nerves. Outside, a blizzard raged in the night. Lina was more than grateful just to be indoors. At her back a fire roared and crackled. A group of rowdy men broke up into raucous laughter as their waitress, in good humor, threw a tankard of ale at them.

"This is the life," Lina said, patting her stomach. She grabbed a chicken leg and waved at her surroundings. "Nice and cozy inside instead of forcing our way through that nasty storm outside."

"Yeah!" Amelia agreed. "And people are so friendly in here! It really makes me happy to see people getting along so well. You can practically feel the camaraderie!"

"It's only a matter of time before the drunken fools get into a fistfight and wreak havoc on the place," Zelgadis muttered, always the pessimist. Lina stuck her tongue out at him while Amelia began a lecture on optimism and looking on the bright side of things. Of course, her speech fell upon deaf ears, so to speak.

"Hey, can I have some more of this?" Gourry asked of a passing waitress. He held up his plate and the waitress took it with her into the kitchen.

"GOURRY! Next time ask for me, too!" Lina berated her blond companion. She stabbed her fork into the table next to Gourry's hand. "You better let me have some of whatever you're getting!"

"No way! I ordered for myself!"

Zelgadis tuned everyone out. If he had a favorite time of the year, this would be it. He always found peace with the cold and fury of winter, most likely due to the way he himself felt year round. Zelgadis picked up his cup of scalding hot coffee and raised it to his lips.

Zelgadis's ears twitched.

_What the…?_ He thought as lowered the cup. Again, the sound came again, and Zelgadis's super hearing pinpointed the direction.

The tavern door burst open, letting in a flurry of icy wind and snow. Immediately the sound of the tavern died to a low murmur. Those nearest the door turned to slam it shut again, but pulled back as a cloaked figure stumbled across the threshold. Lina and Gourry stopped bickering. The rest of the tavern fell completely silent. The tavern guests collectively watched as the shrouded figure began its trek across the room.

"Aye, close th' door, will ye? It's gettin' mighty cold in here!" a large man bellowed, finally breaking the silence. As though released from a spell, the tavern-goers began laughing and talking again. The door was slammed shut and things were back to normal.

Well… almost normal. The cloaked figure stumbled its way across the room and came to a stop in front of Lina's table. Lina, Zelgadis, and Amelia regarded the figure for a few moments in silence. Gourry took the opportunity to steal a roll off Lina's plate.

"What do you want?" Lina finally demanded. She watched in distaste as snow slid off the hunched figure and plopped onto the table.

"I… I just…" a voice spoke. Nearly everyone was surprised to find this stranger was female. Long, pale hands pushed back the cowl of the cloak and gently fingered strands of damp, raven-black hair. Violet eyes peered out from beneath a curtain of hair. A single gold barrette attempted to hold back the mass of beautiful tresses but failed miserably. The violet eyes fell upon Zelgadis and widened.

Zelgadis stood up, knocking his chair over in the process. His face was unusually pale and his eyes were just as wide as the stranger's. Lina glanced from one pallid face to another.

"What's going on here, Zel?" Lina inquired.

"Zel?" the strange girl repeated. "Zelgadis!" A smile worked its way into her small pink mouth. Much to Lina and Amelia's chagrin, she threw herself at Zelgadis and enveloped him in a fierce hug.

"NO! Don't touch me!" Zelgadis shouted. He wrestled his way out of the stranger's tight grip. The girl's face fell. "You're not here. You're dead. You're DEAD!"

"Zel, what is going on!" Lina hissed. She cast a furtive glance around the room and saw that, once more, the tavern had stopped what it was doing and turned to watch the spectacle. "Quit it! You're making a fool of yourself!"

Zelgadis ignored her. He warily watched the stranger.

"But I AM here, Zelgadis!" the girl pleaded. She reached out to touch Zelgadis. He backed up a step.

"Don't touch me! You're DEAD! You can't be here!" With that exclamation, Zelgadis bolted from the room. Lina jumped to her feet. She glared at the stranger.

"I don't know who you are, or what you've done, but you better not leave. I'll be back to ask you some questions. Amelia, Gourry, I'm going after Zelgadis. Stay here."

"Miss Lina - " Amelia started but quickly shut her mouth at Lina's disapproving frown. The redheaded sorceress took off after Zelgadis.

The stranger watched Lina's retreating back with a thoughtful look upon her face. Her eyes shimmered with tears threatening to break through. Amelia stiffly gestured to the unoccupied chairs at the table. Although perturbed by the stranger's penchant for touching Zelgadis, Amelia was, after all, a princess, and princesses were always courteous.

"Please, won't you sit down? Have something to eat or drink. You must be freezing. It's a nightmare out there, isn't it?" Amelia rambled. "May I ask who you are?"

The stranger took a seat, clasped her hands in her lap, and regarded Amelia with cautious eyes.

"My name," she began, "is…"

Meanwhile…

Zelgadis slammed the door to his and Gourry's room and began pacing. His face was still ashen, but now his eyes were narrow slits.

_There is no way that she can still be alive. I was there. I was with her when she died. I saw her take her last breath. She can't be alive! What the hell is she doing here? Is she a kopii? An apparition? An illusion? Maybe a hallucination. Maybe I've finally gone insane. It sure would explain a lot._

"Zelgadis! Open the door this instant!" A fierce banging on the door started. Lina's strident voice cut into Zel like a knife. "I'll fireball the door and your scrawny ass if you don't!"

Believing every word, Zelgadis opened the door and quickly stepped back as Lina charged into the room. Zelgadis shut the door and leaned against it, his face set in a most unbecoming scowl.

"Tell me who that girl is down there, and why you seem to know each other," Lina demanded. She put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot impatiently on the ground. After a few moments of silence in which Zelgadis didn't answer, Lina plopped down on the bed. "I'm not leaving until you do."

_Why does she care? _Zelgadis thought. _It's nobody's business but my own. _

_ L-sama, Zelgadis looks so…haunted, _Lina thought._ Who is that girl? And why, more importantly, did she throw herself at him like that! It's not like they're lovers or any- _Lina blushed and began chewing her thumb fingernail. _Yikes. What if she and Zel have a past or something? How embarrassing. But I need to know! _

"What's eating you, Zel? You look like you've seen a ghost," Lina said. She watched as the scowl on Zelgadis's face slowly melted away.

"Perhaps I have," Zelgadis answered truthfully. Lina simply blinked. Zelgadis sighed and slid down the door until he was sitting. He propped one arm up on his upraised knee and closed his eyes. "Her name is Juliana, and about four years ago I watched her die."


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Cross My Heart

**Author:** Yugure

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Slayers. Wish I did. And if wishes were fishes… I'd be one herring too many. 

**Notes:** Three asterisks (such as ***) indicates a change in time, such as flashbacks to Zelgadis's past, or a change in setting.

Chapter 2 

            Zelgadis tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling. He could tell Lina was dying to know more. Outside, a sharp wind whistled and beat against the window. 

            "It wasn't you, was it?" Lina asked. Her ruby red eyes were narrowed in concentration, and her knees were pulled up to her chin. 

            "That killed her? L-sama, no. Don't even say that, Lina."

            "So what happened? And don't leave anything out, either."

            "Didn't it occur to you that I'm having a difficult time dealing with this, Lina? That maybe, just maybe, it's painful for me to remember?" Zelgadis didn't even bother looking at Lina as he talked. He continued to stare at the ceiling, as if it could keep him from the sorrow.

            "… Sorry," Lina muttered. "But I want to know. Juliana, as you called her, is sitting downstairs and supposedly she's dead. Something isn't right with that."

            "Lina, you have to promise me this stays between us. I don't want anyone else to know. Not Amelia, not Gourry, especially not Xelloss." Zelgadis's face darkened for a moment at the mention of the Trickster Priest. "It's too personal. What I'm about to tell you… it will show you a part of me I never want anyone to see."

            "Your weak spot, eh?" Lina queried. Zelgadis said nothing. Lina sighed. "I promise that nothing said here and now will leave this room. I shall never tell another soul." She raised her hand in a symbol of honor. Zelgadis nodded faintly, lowering his head. He continued to stay seated, but he let his gaze drift slightly to Lina's right. He couldn't bring himself to watch her face as he began his tale.

            "As you know, Rezo turned me into a chimera quite awhile ago. I was mentally and emotionally broken, and – in a way – physically, too. I wasn't who I used to be. It took me so very long to acknowledge this new body as my own. I left home in search of a cure, and I became fixated on it because it was my only hope." Zelgadis laughed then; a cynical and jaded laugh, one that sent shivers down Lina's body.

            "Hope. What a disgusting word. Hope won't let me die peacefully; no, it forces me to continue searching for the ever-elusive cure. Hope led me to her, but I'll get to that in a minute.

            "I saw many things on my journeys; things I would never wish upon my worst enemies. You may wonder why I'm so cold-hearted, so cynical. I had to be, to survive. The years I spent searching felt like an entire lifetime of horrors. I have supped full of horrors, Lina, and little shocks me now. But I met Juliana when I was still mostly unsullied. 

            "It was on a night like this: cold, blustery, Jack Frost at his most bitter and vicious. I was in the northern mountain range of Carthak, searching for a temple said to hold the answer to life itself. Surely, if the temple could answer such a divine question, it could give me the secret to my cure. And so, holding onto that thread of hope, I entered the Obsidian Village…

_***_

            _Damn it's cold!_ Zelgadis thought as he wrapped his cape tightly around him and hurried through the deserted streets. One by one the lights of surrounding shops went out, swallowed up by the oppressing darkness. Business was wrapping up for the evening, and only the taverns were open this late. Zelgadis winced as a tavern door near him opened and a group of drunken merchants stumbled out into the snow. The sound of laughing and dishes clattering poured through the night air like something tangible. It immediately cut off as the door banged shut. The inebriated men wandered away, singing a harsh sailor's song. Zelgadis paused for a moment, the wind stinging his eyes and making him squint.   

            He was so very hungry. He hadn't eaten in what seemed like weeks, although it had only been a few days. Still unused to his new chimera body, Zelgadis craved the same necessities his human body once had. Food, shelter, warmth, acceptance: these things were still a part of his life, although the latter was not easily obtainable, as Zelgadis found out the difficult way.

            Zelgadis shivered, ducked his head, and continued on his way. The temple was only a short distance away and surely someone there would allow him to bed for the night. The storm raged on.

*** 

            Juliana hated having the night vigil. The night had always scared her. Things unseen and unknown crawled through the darkness, lurking on the edge of sight. Juliana was a child of the day. All her enthusiasm and brightness came from the light. This darkness dampened her spirits and brought out her worst fears.

            "It's all Sister Vega's fault. She doesn't like me; I just know it. She gave me the night shift because she knows I hate it," Juliana muttered as she swished the gnarled broom across the stone floor. "Just you wait, Sister Vega. You'll get yours."

            Juliana loved fantasizing about divine retribution. Every person who ever said a word against her suffers for their sins in Juliana's mind. Her favorite daydream was when Sister Vega was eaten alive by carnivorous bunnies with fangs. Of course, Juliana would never admit she had these thoughts. She would be kicked out of the shrine quicker than she could bat an eye.

            Someone pounded on the shrine door. Juliana's heart leapt in her throat. They hardly ever had visitors this late in the evening. Occasionally a wanderer in search of enlightenment would stumble across the threshold during the night, but on a night like this… every sane person would have sought shelter hours ago. Juliana was the only one awake in this section of the shrine. There would be no way for her to reach the other "night shifter", as she liked to call them. 

            Juliana took a deep breath and walked to the huge stone doors. She hated being weak of heart, of being scared witless by little things, of always being the one who cried wolf. Juliana grasped the broom in her hand and tried to recall her self defense lessons from when she was younger. 

            The person outside pounded on the door again, causing Juliana to jump. She crossed herself and opened the door.

            "I seek sanctuary," the hooded figure requested before Juliana could even open her mouth. 

            "I must oblige," Juliana replied, her voice catching as she stepped back. Any visitor requesting sanctuary had to be let in, Juliana knew, but even thus, she cringed in fear.

            "I'm sorry to barge in like this, but I need a place to stay for the night. Would you be so kind as to –"

            "Of course," Juliana interrupted. Her heart was beating at breakneck speed. She stared in open wonder at the stranger. She couldn't see his face at all; it was hidden behind the cowl of a beige cloak. Juliana's curiosity roared to life like a flame becoming a blaze. "I… This shrine is always open for those in need. Please, take off your cloak and follow me."

            "I'd rather not," the hooded stranger replied. "Just show me the way."

            "… Okay." Juliana didn't want to turn her back on this man, but she had little choice. Praying that she would be safe, Juliana led the stranger down a side hallway.

***

            Zelgadis held his cloak together tighter when the young shrine maiden offered to take his cloak. He'd be kicked out if his true identity were revealed.

            "No thank you," he mumbled. "I'll keep it with me, if it's all the same."

            "All right. If you need assistance, I'll be in the main hall. Sister Agatha will replace me in a few hours, though," the young girl replied. She hesitated at the door. Silently, Zelgadis wished the girl away. No doubt she would be stricken dead at his horrific appearance. "My name is Juliana."

            Zelgadis didn't see what importance this piece of information had, so he simply nodded. When the girl didn't leave, he turned to look at her. In her eyes Zelgadis saw fear and curiosity vie for dominance. He could tell by the stubborn set of her jaw that this girl had a fierce spirit. Maybe she wouldn't keel over at his appearance, but he still refused to drop his hood simply to satisfy her curiosity.

            "Thank you, Juliana," Zelgadis said, unsuccessfully trying to make the girl leave. Juliana blushed and ducked her head.

            "If you don't mind my asking, why are you seeking refuge here at the shrine? There are plenty of inns in town," she asked. Zelgadis sighed heavily.

            "I'm searching for a certain manuscript that, legend says, resides here."

            "Oh, the Obsidian Rune, right?"

            "Yes. You know of it?"

            "Of course I do. I am, after all, a shrine maiden at this temple. I can help you translate it." Juliana sat down on a pew, obviously having no intention of leaving.

            "Great. It needs to be translated?"

            "Yeah. But it's not too terribly difficult. It might take a day or two, but I think I can do it."

            "Can you take me to it now?" Zelgadis got to his feet, excited at the prospect of having his cure this close.

            "I'm afraid not. But first thing in the morning, I'll gladly help you," Juliana replied. She gently tugged on Zelgadis's cloak. "What is your name? You haven't told me that yet."

            "Zelgadis. And leave that alone, please."

            "Why not? Surely you're not freakishly disfigured," Juliana coaxed. Zelgadis cringed at her words and tightened his grip on his cloak.

            "I'm tired. I wish to rest now." To emphasize this, Zelgadis lay on the pew and closed his eyes. "Wake me at dawn's light, and not a moment before."

            "Fine. I shall. Good night." Juliana left in a huff. Zelgadis refused to worry about the girl, and he let sleep overtake him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Cross My Heart

**Author:** Yugure

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Slayers. Duh?

**Notes: **About Zelgadis and his willingness to divulge his past… yeah, I suppose he wouldn't tell Lina even if she did threaten to Fireball his cute derriere. But that wouldn't make for a very good story, would it?

* * *

The loud tapping echoed throughout the room, giving Zelgadis a feeling of emptiness and despair. He quickly pulled the cowl of his cloak down over his face and stood up. His muscles felt sore from his fitful sleep.

"It's dawn. And not a moment before!" Juliana's cheerful voice exclaimed from the other side of the wooden door. Zelgadis grasped the brass handle and gave a quick jerk, dislodging the door from its frame and causing Juliana to "eep!" and step back.

"Show me to the Rune," Zelgadis blurted before his mind fully completed his thoughts.

"Okay, okay. But would you like breakfast first?"

Zelgadis glanced down at the tray Juliana carefully balanced on one hand. Loaded with sumptuous fruit and delicious-smelling meat, the plate beckoned his starving stomach. It even seemed to be calling his name…

"Yes, that would be wonderful," Zelgadis said as he took the tray from Juliana. He turned around and started to close the door with his foot when he noticed the look on Juliana's face. "Ah… would you care to join me?"

"I'd love to!" The sad frown immediately lifted to a happy smile. Zelgadis hid his disappointment and sat down on one of the benches. Juliana settled down next to him, picked up a giant strawberry, and held it up in front of his face.

"I love these! They're just so sweet. Here, try it!"

"…" Zelgadis stared at her as if she were a madwoman. After an uncomfortable moment of silence, Zelgadis coughed and said, "I can feed myself, thank you."

"Oh, sorry." Juliana blushed and dropped the strawberry. She turned away.

"You're welcome to have whatever you want, though. I don't think I'll be able to eat all this."

"Why don't you take off your cloak to eat? It must be-"

"No!" Zelgadis exclaimed, in fear that Juliana might forcibly throw back his hood. When she turned back to give him an odd look, he ducked his head. "What I mean is, no, I don't want to take it off, and it's not that difficult to eat around it."

"Tell you what. I'll go wait in the hall, and when you're done, you come and get me. Okay?"

"All right." Out of the corner of his eye, Zelgadis watched as Juliana disappeared into the hallway, closing the door with a gentle thud. Sighing in relief, Zelgadis threw back the hood of his cloak. It was a stupid mistake, to let her sit down with him. Why on earth he even offered, he didn't know. True, he often ate while wearing his cloak pulled tight around him, but alone, he preferred to eat normally. It reminded him of what he used to be.

Zelgadis lifted a succulent strawberry to his lips.

Before he could react, the door cracked open.

"Oh, and if you need anything…" Juliana's voice trailed off, her eyes growing wide as she stuck her head across the threshold of the room. Zelgadis froze. Time seemed to stop. The strawberry plopped back down on the plate. Juliana stepped further into the room, a feat not many could accomplish when faced with a chimera.

"Oh my g-"

"Don't say anything!" Zelgadis suddenly cried. He snatched his cloak and pulled it over his head; pulled in close to his body. Through the cloth he yelled, "Go away! Leave me alone! Don't speak to me!"

"What are you?" Instead of leaving, Juliana inched forward and tentatively reached out her hand. She steeled herself and let her curiosity take over. She tugged at the cloak, but it would not release from Zelgadis's iron grip.

"I said leave!"

"Not until you tell me what you are! Are you a demon? An evil spirit? How could you enter the sanctity of this shrine?"

"I'm not evil…" Zelgadis insisted, although it seemed more of a reassurance to himself than an explanation to her.

"You're a chimera, aren't you? Oh my goodness, oh my… Zelgadis? Please let me see you again."

"No."

"Now stop being difficult!"

"I only want you to help me read the Rune. That's all. Nothing more." Juliana remained silent. She let go of the cloak and stepped back. She waited. Zelgadis shifted uncomfortably. "Juliana?" Zelgadis relaxed his grip on the cloak.

Without warning, Juliana grasped the cloth and pulled with all her might. The cloak unwound itself from Zelgadis's body and piled in a heap at Juliana's feet. Zelgadis looked up, a flash of anger and resentment in his eyes.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Juliana said quickly. "I don't think I could, even if I wanted to. You don't have to be afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid."

"Really? That's good…"

"But are you?" Zelgadis stood up. Juliana flinched. Her curiosity wilted, and her inner fears rose in an overwhelming wave. She stepped back. Zelgadis took another step, and grasped Juliana's arm with lightning quick speed. "Does it disgust you? Does it make you wince, make you shudder, make you sick, when I touch you? Doesn't your mind tell your body to run when you see me? I can see the fear in your eyes. You tell me I shouldn't be afraid, but I cannot follow the word of a hypocrite."

"You're hurting me…" Juliana's words were a mere whisper. Tears welled in her eyes. Zelgadis let go and mentally reprimanded himself for letting his anger get the best of him. Juliana rubbed her throbbing arm.

"So now you see what I really am. Are you still going to help me?"

"Yes."

Both looked shocked; Zelgadis from hearing it, and Juliana from hearing herself say it. Juliana wasn't sure what to do next; part of her wanted to run from the room and never see this chimera again, but a part of her simply couldn't walk away.

"Answer me this, and answer truthfully. Do you find my appearance horrific, or frightening, in any way?"

"Yes," Juliana replied. "You terrify me."

"Thank you. Can you take me to the Rune now?"

With a nod of her head, Juliana exited the room and didn't watch to see if Zelgadis followed her. After a forlorn look at the tray of food, Zelgadis did.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **Cross My Heart

**Author:** Yugure

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer:** Me no own. You no sue.

**Notes: **Read. Review. Eat lots of chocolate cake because we all die eventually. You might as well enjoy life while you have it.

Chapter 4

            The Obsidian Rune took up nearly the entire room, in spite of the vast size of the area. Towering over the heads of all who looked upon it, the Obsidian Rune was a behemoth. Silver writing, in ancient tongues, wound around and across the inky black surface. 

            Zelgadis had never seen anything like it in his life. True, he had only been traveling a few months since his… transformation… but he had seen some pretty strange things already. Nothing quite matched up to this.

            "The Rune is basically a repository for all magic knowledge. It's not nearly as great at the legendary Claire Bible," Juliana explained, leading Zelgadis to a podium near the center of what little open space there was. "Nobody knows where the other Runes are, so the information given here is only a portion of what there once was."

            "Wait… you mean there are more of these things?!" Zelgadis exclaimed, gawking. 

            "Uh huh. But they're basically lost to history. Some people think the other Runes are just myths, some people think the Lord of Nightmares removed them many, many years ago, and some think they reside on worlds beside our own." Juliana touched a floating orb of gold hovering above the podium and a hologram appeared before them.

            "And this thing will tell me how to cure myself?"

            "Well… I can't guarantee that. I can only say that it might." Juliana frowned in deep thought as she quickly tapped her fingers over the gold orb in different patterns. The hologram screen in front of them changed to give different readouts with every tap. "To make things even more difficult, the Obsidian Rune isn't just written in one language. It has about 3 archaic languages that we actually understand. Everything else is gibberish, meaning lost thousands of years ago."

            "Just my luck, my cure is in one of those," Zelgadis grumbled.

            "Okay, the section mapped out for transformations is… there!" Juliana hopped down from the podium and scampered over to the Rune. She cast a quick Raywing and flew up about one-fourth of the way up. Zelgadis hastily cast his own spell and flew up beside her.

            "Where is it? I've never seen any of these languages before. What does it say?" Zelgadis demanded. Juliana cast him a haughty look.

            "Only learned scholars such as myself ever study this. Actually, the knowledge is almost completely exclusive to this shrine, because these languages are nowhere to be found anywhere else in the world." Zelgadis cast the shrine maiden a dirty look. He hated it when people implied they were better than him.

            "So what does it say, o erudite one?" he replied scathingly. Juliana turned back to look at the Rune. She squinted and leaned in closer to it.

            "It says… ah… it says… well, this word here…" She placed her finger on a strange looking symbol. "… it means 'magic'. Or 'spiny water flea'. I'm not sure which."

            "What?!"

            "Well, they LOOK the same, okay?!" Juliana defended, her face tinting pink. She scratched her head and sighed. "Or it might be 'dog-faced scum bucket'." She grinned sheepishly at Zelgadis.

            "Don't you know the difference?" Zelgadis asked, incredulous. Juliana blushed a deep scarlet. She turned back to stare at the Rune, avoiding eye contact.

            "Umm… well… I haven't ACTUALLY studied this particular language…"

            "You're kidding me."

            "Er… hah hah… I'm a novice shrine maiden right now. They don't teach this stuff until I move up in rank."

            "You said you could help translate it for me!!"

            "I did?"

            "Yes! Last night!"

            "… well, if I can get a translation book out of the library, I can probably do it…"

            "Is there anyone else in the shrine who could help me with this? Anyone who actually KNOWS the language?" Zelgadis couldn't help but snap at the poor girl. All that time she lead him on, thinking she could help him, she couldn't read a single damn thing. Juliana floated back down to the floor and Zelgadis followed.

            "Yes and no. Yes, there are other people in the shrine who can read that, but no, I can't take you to them."

            "Why NOT?!"

            "Because you weren't technically supposed to see the Rune up close like that."


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: **Cross My Heart

**Author:** Yugure

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Slayers. Like anyone would believe me if I said I did… 

**Notes: **Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I appreciate all reviews very much. :) You all have excellent ideas.

**Chapter 5**

            Zelgadis stared at Juliana, his face an emotionless mask. After all that trouble, he wasn't even privy to information that could change his life?

            "Don't worry, Zelgadis!" Juliana cried, sensing his internal distress and that things would not go well if she didn't do something to remedy the situation. "Just give me a few days to go through the books in the library, and I can help you. Really!"

            "A few days?" the chimera replied quietly. Juliana nodded. Zelgadis sighed deeply. "Since it's the only lead I have, I might as well take it."

            "That's great! Just… uh…" Juliana blushed and fidgeted with her hands. "Would you be able to take a room at the inn, in town? You can't very well sleep on pews every night, and I don't think we have extra guest rooms right now…"

            Zelgadis gazed long and hard at the anxious priestess, who, in turn, stared at the floor. Without warning Zelgadis reached out and grasped Juliana's arm, holding tightly but not enough to hurt. Juliana jerked back and her breath came in with a ragged gasp. Zelgadis turned and began walking away.

            "As I thought," he said simply. Juliana stood dumbfounded. As the words finally made sense, she ran to catch up.

            "Look, I'm sorry, I'm just not used to being around people like you…" she tried to explain.

            "People like me…"

            "You know what I mean! I'm suggesting you stay at the inn because it would be more comfortable for you, not because… because…" Juliana was at a loss for words.

            "Because you're ashamed of what I am? Because I might scare away patrons?" Zelgadis finished nastily, self-derision nearly palpable. Juliana frowned and didn't comment. She realized that no matter what she said or did, Zelgadis would continue to think whatever he wanted.

            "If you're going to give me an attitude like that, you can just leave."

            "…"

            "I'll still help you, I'll even start today, but you better stop giving me such a hard time. I can't do everything in the world, you know."

*** Present ***

            "I would've beaten you bloody if you'd acted that way to me," Lina exclaimed from her seat on the bed.

            "Like you could," Zelgadis replied, with a smile on his face. "I was a chimera. I still am I chimera. I don't know how such a fact can continue to elude you…"

            "Yeah, but you were a weakling then. I bet you couldn't even control most of your strength." The lack of response was enough answer for Lina. She grinned and patted the bedside next to her. "Sorry, that was pretty callous of me. C'mon, you look uncomfortable sitting down on the ground."

            "I'm okay."

            "Zelgadis Graywords, don't make me come down there and get you." Zelgadis raised his eyebrows and looked skeptical but got to his feet and sat next to Lina.

            "Better?"

            "Yeah. You may continue with your story."

            "Thanks."

*** 

            Zelgadis was lucky to procure a room at the inn. What with the terrible weather befalling the area, almost everyone had taken shelter with a stranglehold grip. Only the deranged, the stupid, and the suicidal took leave to forge through the winter storm. Juliana appeared later in the evening to join Zelgadis for supper. The tavern was nearly at its maximum capacity with so many visitors and customers holed up for the night.

            "I have some good news for you, Zelgadis," Juliana exclaimed as she pulled a chair up to Zelgadis's table. The chimera, his face carefully hidden by the cowl of his cloak, nodded his head in acceptance. He sipped from his decanter and continued to eat. "I've convinced a friend of mine to help me translate the Obsidian Rune. I trust her implicitly. She won't give away our secret."  
            "I'd rather not let more people know about what I am," Zelgadis slowly stated, his mind shirking from the idea of exposing himself once again.

            "Oh, don't worry about that," Juliana replied, fluttering her hands in dismissal. "She won't know."

            "What?"

            "Um… nothing. Anyway, when you're done here, I can take you to meet her."

            "Is there a catch somewhere in here? Why is she helping you, and what does she want?"

            "Sister Dounia isn't like that," Juliana huffed. She crossed her arms and sunk low into her chair. "She's the nicest person at the sanctuary and she's the only person I ever really talk to."

            "Your age?"

            "No, she's much older than me."

            "I see." The two adolescents lapsed into a tenuous silence. Zelgadis unhurriedly ate his food, and Juliana was nearly buzzing with energy. She wiggled her feet and tapped her fingers on the table. Finally, after a few aggravating minutes of this, Zelgadis looked up from his soup and glared at the priestess from within the darkness of his hood. Juliana grinned sheepishly.

            "Sorry, I'm just really tense. Are you done yet?"

            "… No."

            "Sorry."

***

            Zelgadis allowed Juliana to lead him through the winding pathways of the temple. He would remember them, of course, by way of his photographic-like memory, but this was his first visit and he was as helpless as any patron.

            "Please be really, really nice to Dounia," Juliana was saying as she turned a corner and approached a wooden door. "She's rather fragile and you have to be gentle with her…"  
            "Are you implying that I wouldn't be?"

            "No, Zelgadis, I didn't mean it like that! Juliana turned to face the chimera, but when the man seemed neither inclined to accept or reject her words, she turned back to the door. She rapped thrice on the old wood. "Sister Dounia? It's me, Juliana, and my friend."

            "Come in, dear, come in!" a kindly, muffled voice replied. Juliana opened the door, and they stepped inside.

            Sister Dounia was, as Juliana had implied, considerably old. Her face looked the texture and color of an old boot. Wrinkles covered the old woman's countenance, making her seem wise and content. A smile appeared and pale yellow teeth peaked unevenly from behind gray half-moon lips. As Zelgadis stepped closer, he saw Dounia's eyes were a rheumy blue.

            "This is Zelgadis, the… man I was telling you about," Juliana spoke up. She embraced Dounia lightly and stepped back.

            "I see, I see. Come closer, child, closer," Dounia said. She beckoned Zelgadis with her gnarled hands, and Zelgadis complied. He followed Dounia's gaze as he moved closer and was disturbed to find Dounia's gaze only marginally followed him. Quietly Zelgadis stepped to the side. Dounia continued to smile at the doorway.

            "She's blind," Zelgadis blurted, utilizing zero tact. Juliana's face hardened, but Dounia laughed and turned her head in the direction she heard Zelgadis's voice.

            "Yes, that tends to happen when you get to be my age. No need to be alarmed," she explained.

            "I don't know whether to be offended or relieved," Zelgadis muttered, shooting a look at Juliana. The priestess looked back at him defiantly for a moment, but her passive nature forced her to avert her gaze.

            "Come closer," Dounia repeated. "I promise I won't bite." She laughed again. "Please, let me feel your face? It's my own way of seeing you."

            "I'd rather not." Dounia's face settled into quiet displeasure and uncertainty as she faced Juliana. Juliana only paused a beat before she reached out, grabbed Zelgadis's arm, and yanked him down closer to Dounia. Caught unawares, Zelgadis hadn't a chance to use his chimera reflexes until Dounia's hands were already touching his face. Dry, gentle fingertips caressed his cheekbones and brow ridge. Zelgadis shuddered as he imagined what sort of picture was being painted inside the old priestess's mind. The rocks on his face surely jabbed into her skin, pushed into her conscious, needled at her sense of normality: no normal human had skin like him.

            "A chimera." The words were objective and seemed to be completely unattached from emotion. "I can see now why you need the Rune translated…" Dounia's hands dropped back into her lap. Zelgadis straightened his posture.

            "Pardon me for being rude, but if you cannot see, how can you read the Rune?" he asked. Juliana grinned, looking quite pleased with herself. Dounia smiled once more and tapped her right temple.

            "I know things that you'll never dream of, Boy."


End file.
